Quit wishing me Happy New Year
Another year is upon us.
Well, whoop-dee-frickin'-doo!
What it brings for all of us is every person you meet for the next fortnight wishing you a happy new year.
Yeah, whatever!
Seriously, "Happy New Year" is one of those useless greetings, quite like "Good morning" (when "hello" will suffice). As if anyone's year is going to magically turn "happy" just because you wish it upon them. But everyone says it anyway. Why don't they just say "Great sex this year" while they're at it. It has about the same chance of changing anything. After decades of hearing it, I can barely manage a fake wry smile, let alone return the greeting. The best I can do is "you too" with a look that says "I'm supposed to smile when I say this, but you can clearly see I'm not as excited as you are".
If that ain't enough, there follows a litany of cards and even more of that horrible scourge of the Internet age - the e-card. They burst with good wishes and lines like "here's hoping the new year brings you happiness and prosperity and may all your dreams be fulfilled".
Blah blah blah! Listen pal, just because the earth completed one revolution around the sun doesn't magically change anything in your life. Some of us will do well, most will have their share of ups and downs, and some will screw themselves. I simply don't see any point in sending people new year wishes, ok? Your new year card won't do squat to help or hurt.
But it's not as if my posting about it will change anything. I'll just try to avoid people for the next two weeks, and hope that "happy new year" fever has worn off after that.
Do your bit for society. Lay off the new year greetings.
New Year greetings fill me with joy and happiness. You need some warm fuzzies.
Happy New Year! Have a wonderful and joyous 2005! YAY!
Posted by: Jake McDingo | January 02, 2005 at 11:23 PM
Jake, go jump off a cliff.
Posted by: Scrooge McGrumpy | January 03, 2005 at 04:27 AM
You funny little man. Cliff diving is one of my hobbies. How did you know?
Posted by: Jake McDingo | January 03, 2005 at 06:16 AM
I won't give you any temporal based greetings, if you agree to call this year "twenty oh five" rather than "two thousand and five".
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | January 03, 2005 at 06:32 AM
This is aught-five.
Posted by: Jake McDingo | January 03, 2005 at 06:39 AM
Can someone tell the Springfield News what a GIF is? It's so easy not to use a JPG when a GIF will do. Surely people have learnt basic web design in time for the "Big Oh-Five"?
Oh, and whilst I remember, Happy New Year everybody!
Posted by: Dave Addey | January 03, 2005 at 10:28 PM
Springfield is in Oregon, USA. The GIF / JPG rift is a cultural divide you brits wouldn't understand.
Posted by: Jake McDingo | January 03, 2005 at 11:18 PM
I appreciate the irony in Grumpy McScrooge giving himself a name reminiscent of Ebeneezer Scrooge. For surely Grumpy knows that Scrooge was the kindest and jolliest fellow that England ever knew...
"He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!"
Posted by: Jake McDingo | January 04, 2005 at 12:42 AM
For Happy New Year, why not substitute "I'm Happy I Knew Yer"?
Posted by: Mozo | January 04, 2005 at 10:08 AM
Have a good "oh five", otherwise known as a "reverse hawiian copper"
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | January 04, 2005 at 06:15 PM