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March 28, 2004
Jakob Nielsen is Dr Octopus
Powers: Once he was Otto Octavius -- a brilliant and respected nuclear physicist, inventor and lecturer. Frustrated by the limitations of the human body, Octavius designed and built a set of robotic arms to assist him in his research. Unfortunately, the world can only guess at the scientific heights to which this genius would have ascended. A freak laboratory accident exposed Octavius to intense radioactivity, grafting the mechanical appendages to his body and granting him complete telepathic control over the artificial limbs. But the mishap altered Octavius' mind, as well, transforming him from a timid researcher into a criminally insane megalomaniac.
Who will stop this man/machine?
Jakob is getting worse. Now he's saying that the entire population of Houston (2 million) will need to be re-trained as Usability Professionals so that his dream of Nielsen mandated usability can take over the US (and by implication the world). Jakob is also very pleased about the outsourcing of programming jobs, as the money saved can be spent on sending people to Nielsen Usability Seminars.
If it was April 1st then I would take this article with a pinch of salt, but he really is serious about this stuff and someone has got to stop this megalomaniac before it's too late.
March 28, 2004 in Usability | Permalink
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Comments
The phwah, phwaw nature of melons is a long-standing British tradition that I am happy to continue.
In a similar vein, a melon farmer could be descibed as a Gossard Selesman.
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | 2 Apr 2004 19:21:52
It saddens me when Mac loses the will to continue a discussion thread.
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 2 Apr 2004 16:08:10
Chris, you silly Melon Farmer.
Oh, and please stop Googling during your course.
Posted by: Jason | 1 Apr 2004 21:31:51
It saddens me that the film industry would exploit melon farmers for a few cheap laughs. it saddens me even more that Mac would continue this practice of belittling mom 'n' pop farms.
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 1 Apr 2004 16:33:40
Google for melon farmer dub
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | 31 Mar 2004 20:30:49
Which defintion of 'dub' are you using?
1) To add sound into a film.
2) To transfer recorded material onto a new recording medium.
3) To insert a new soundtrack, often a synchronized translation of the original dialogue, into a film.
You want me to guess what the technician is dubbing over? Ummm, I guess, the sounds of breasts bumping together. 'Melon farmer?' How does that play into a film technician modifying the soundtrack of a movie, or making copies of a movie? He's not farming anything. You people don't make any sense. No wonder a bunch of flunkies beat the red coats.
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 31 Mar 2004 16:41:10
melon farmer was/is used to dub films. You can guess what they were dubbing over.
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | 31 Mar 2004 11:08:48
A common euphemism should be findable via Google. Surely you come at us with more evidence than your mere word.
Hey, what's a melon farmer? Is that a doctor who performs mastectomies? You are one sick puppy.
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 30 Mar 2004 16:55:13
Just because it isn't on google doesn't mean it isn't true.
Farts are also known as "Tailpipe Emissions".
Perhaps I have invented a new obscenity ala "melon farmer".
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | 30 Mar 2004 16:31:17
Mac, can you cite web references to this disgusting alternate meaning for the word tailpipe? My Googling for UK usage only turns up motor vehicle parts. Do I understand your interpretation correctly, that you are embarrassed by human anatomy? Do you people really stick metal pipes into your orifices? How disgusting!
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 30 Mar 2004 15:51:11
I blame society and Eddie Murphy. In that order.
Posted by: Sagan Oliphant | 30 Mar 2004 13:39:17
Tailpipe is very disgusting in the UK. I think you are referring to the exhaust pipe on his car.
Posted by: Chris McEvoy | 30 Mar 2004 09:40:32
Trust me, he would not fall for no banana in his tailpipe.
Posted by: Matthew Oliphant | 29 Mar 2004 15:38:03
I suggest we stick a banana in his tailpipe.
Posted by: Piccadilly McSquiggles | 29 Mar 2004 00:12:23
